A Prolonged Dream

I've tried so many times to imagine up some sort of thesis about all that has happened surrounding the loss of Daniel Schaeffer.
All I can offer right now is some fragile construction of pieces of thoughts........

It has almost been a year since the accident. The day. The moment.
I can not imagine what moments others are transported to at the thought of it, and I don't want to.
For me, when I think of it, I am sitting in some dark room in England.
I am yelling "NO" into the phone.
But there are some things we cannot say "No" to.
Somehow, through this year-long season of fall, the Schaeffers, my family, and the whole town have been learning what it is to accept loss and pain.
We can't say "No" to the pain, but what about God, trust, healing, facing the future?
We are cautioned now to be more real with God and one another, to value things differently, and to cherish. We are challenged to face the ugliness of the world, the grief which strikes our earth daily; to face an ounce of the immeasurable heartbreak God feels. We are challenged to trust God and lean not on our own understanding in a way we'd never expected. We are to somehow expect to heal.
The danger doesn't simply lie in denying pain, it lies further ahead, in denying Him who would heal us.
More seasons are coming, spring will be here, although I know it's hard to see.
My heart's saying "Yes" to the future, to God, to trust, to healing.