This is the point in my life where I learn that there should be a sincere difference between things falling away and me falling apart. I always try to make them go together, but they don't have to.
I've tried holding onto things, and have half-willingly just given up on others, and now I'm realizing that those things weren't all really necessary, maybe some were even some terrible Hannah-schemes I've dedicated years to forcing into occurrence.
And there's definitely something brighter ahead.
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness"- Psalm 37:3(ESV)
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
A Prolonged Dream
I've tried so many times to imagine up some sort of thesis about all that has happened surrounding the loss of Daniel Schaeffer.
All I can offer right now is some fragile construction of pieces of thoughts........
It has almost been a year since the accident. The day. The moment.
I can not imagine what moments others are transported to at the thought of it, and I don't want to.
For me, when I think of it, I am sitting in some dark room in England.
I am yelling "NO" into the phone.
But there are some things we cannot say "No" to.
Somehow, through this year-long season of fall, the Schaeffers, my family, and the whole town have been learning what it is to accept loss and pain.
We can't say "No" to the pain, but what about God, trust, healing, facing the future?
We are cautioned now to be more real with God and one another, to value things differently, and to cherish. We are challenged to face the ugliness of the world, the grief which strikes our earth daily; to face an ounce of the immeasurable heartbreak God feels. We are challenged to trust God and lean not on our own understanding in a way we'd never expected. We are to somehow expect to heal.
The danger doesn't simply lie in denying pain, it lies further ahead, in denying Him who would heal us.
More seasons are coming, spring will be here, although I know it's hard to see.
My heart's saying "Yes" to the future, to God, to trust, to healing.
All I can offer right now is some fragile construction of pieces of thoughts........
It has almost been a year since the accident. The day. The moment.
I can not imagine what moments others are transported to at the thought of it, and I don't want to.
For me, when I think of it, I am sitting in some dark room in England.
I am yelling "NO" into the phone.
But there are some things we cannot say "No" to.
Somehow, through this year-long season of fall, the Schaeffers, my family, and the whole town have been learning what it is to accept loss and pain.
We can't say "No" to the pain, but what about God, trust, healing, facing the future?
We are cautioned now to be more real with God and one another, to value things differently, and to cherish. We are challenged to face the ugliness of the world, the grief which strikes our earth daily; to face an ounce of the immeasurable heartbreak God feels. We are challenged to trust God and lean not on our own understanding in a way we'd never expected. We are to somehow expect to heal.
The danger doesn't simply lie in denying pain, it lies further ahead, in denying Him who would heal us.
More seasons are coming, spring will be here, although I know it's hard to see.
My heart's saying "Yes" to the future, to God, to trust, to healing.
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